This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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