i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
