There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
