you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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