saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
