i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
