I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
