she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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