i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
