i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
