i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
