There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
