We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
