i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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