i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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