I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
