so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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