The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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