just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
