He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
