Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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