Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
