Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
