you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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