Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
