cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I didn't notice because vodka
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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