Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Dicks are not precious.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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