just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
