talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
