I wish I could punch you in the face.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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