We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
