If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
