remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
