Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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