I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
