Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
