I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
