Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Quick, to the slutcave!
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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