I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
