and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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