I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Randomize
