When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
