It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize