i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
