hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
