He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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