Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
