you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
