All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
