I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
