Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
