So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
