whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
