I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
