i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
