Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
